Gestational loss or abortion are deeply painful events that can leave an emotional and energetic mark on those involved. While grief is a personal and unique process, there are energetic tools and rituals based on the principles of Bert Hellinger’s Family Constellations that can help with healing and finding peace. As a quantum therapist and family constellation facilitator, I have experienced many rituals within the energetic work with mothers, but also with myself after two significant losses. This is why I felt inspired to share these rites that can help you or someone close to you connect with grief and give a place to that soul who chose to come to this plane for a short time with its purpose.
1. Acknowledging the Pain and Loss
One of the first steps toward healing is to recognize the loss and give it a place in our lives. According to Bert Hellinger, every family member, including an unborn child, has a place in the family system. A beneficial ritual is to create a sacred space where you can honor and acknowledge the being that did not come to life.
- Suggested Ritual: Create an altar with a candle, a flower, and a meaningful object. Sit in a quiet space, light the candle, and verbalize your feelings. Acknowledge this child, give them a place in your heart and your family, and express your emotions. This act of recognition is a crucial step towards healing.
2. Meditation for Connection and Farewell
Family Constellations hold that energetic bonds with an unborn being can remain within the family field if not properly closed. Through a guided meditation, it is possible to connect with this being and, if necessary, say goodbye in a loving and respectful manner.
- Suggested Ritual: Find a quiet, comfortable place. Close your eyes and breathe deeply. Imagine a safe and beautiful place where you can meet this being. Allow yourself to feel whatever arises in that moment, whether it be love, sadness, or gratitude. Then, when you’re ready, say goodbye with love, thank them for their brief existence, and allow them to move on by visualizing a light or a beautiful place where they can stay, assured of the strong bond that will unite you forever. This helps release any energetic attachment that may be blocking your healing process and the soul’s transcendence to a more subtle plane.
3. Honoring the Grieving Process
Grief is not a linear process; it can manifest in waves of emotions that come and go. Hellinger emphasizes the importance of respecting and giving time to grief, without trying to rush or deny it. Honoring grief can include daily or weekly practices that allow you to express and process your emotions. It is important to remember that grief is not only for the mother, but also for the father and the entire family tree.
- Suggested Ritual: Write a letter to your unborn child whenever you feel the need. Express everything you feel without censorship. You can read it aloud or simply keep it in a special place. If at some point you feel ready, you can burn the letter as a symbolic act of release.
4. Integration into the Family Tree
In Family Constellations, every family member has a place and a right to belong. This principle also applies to children who were not born. Integrating them into the family tree is a powerful way to heal and bring balance to the family system.
- Suggested Ritual: Draw your family tree and add the unborn child, giving them a name if you wish. This act of inclusion can bring peace and harmony to the entire family system, allowing energy to flow more freely.
5. Closing Ceremony
Finally, it is important to consciously close the process of grief and healing. This ceremony does not mean forgetting, but rather recognizing that a cycle has been completed and that it is time to move forward with a new perspective, and also to give relief and release to that soul so it can continue its journey towards the light or reincarnation.
- Suggested Ritual: Organize a small ceremony in a place that holds special meaning for you. Invite close people, if you feel it is appropriate, and share with them what you have learned and experienced. You can plant a tree or a flower as a symbol of new life and growth in fertile ground. You can connect with a song or phrase that allows you to unite and remember that moment in your heart.
Conscious Healing
Healing after a gestational loss or abortion is a personal and profound journey, and it always brings with it a greater purpose. Rituals inspired by Bert Hellinger’s Family Constellations offer a way to honor the pain, recognize the unborn being, and restore energetic balance in the family system. Each act of recognition, connection, and farewell is a step towards peace and the integration of pain into a new life narrative.
While these rituals can be deeply healing, it is important to remember that each process is unique, and seeking support or having a Family Constellation session can be a great help in guiding and accompanying the entire clan’s souls in this energetic movement of healing, even if they were unborn babies in generations prior to ours.
I am always here to accompany you in these processes.
With love and gratitude,
Barbara Palacios
Quantum Therapist and Family Constellation Facilitator